All is not as it seems

Hello, Friday Fools! 

Yesterday, we had tile guys ripping out the tile and the tub in our guest bathroom. It's something that's been on the docket for a long while, our shower has been on the docket for even longer, and it's finally getting done.  It was planned for last year, so don't go thinking we've been sitting around picking apart our home while sheltering-in, then coming up with the brilliant idea of ripping it apart and rebuilding. Hard. No. I don't roll like that. While I like a little excitement and change, remodeling is not it. There's something about construction that seems wasteful to me even as I enjoy the refresh. Perfectly good material being ripped out, even if it no longer suits--but that's another story altogether. Let's not forget it's horribly disruptive and costly. Ask the dogs and Chief. Chief's still having heart attacks over the addition we had built so Chia could have a bedroom of his own. The dogs think we're having a literal home invasion every time a worker passes by the French doors they're trapped behind--they're watching from the kitchen, on constant alert. We had to put Flanders into a doggy timeout (Chia's room) because he wouldn't pipe down.

He's the older one, so you'd think after a bit he'd give up. Finnegan's the younger one who actually minds better. But he's also the one who throws his 90 pound self against the French doors by the front porch every time he hears someone approach. We have a bunch of terrified delivery people. For that I feel bad. There are some who think it's funny. I'm pretty sure they're in the minority, especially after they get a good look at what the dogs and Monkey did to those doors. I don't even want to tell you--you might start to think we actually live in a lean-to and are building a real bathroom so we don't have to use an outhouse. Let's just say, it's embarrassing looking at that door.

So, perceived and real home and bank invasions aside, the tile guy found a window in the bathroom that had been walled in. Surprise! This house has had enough additions it's a little ridiculous. That window is walled-up on the other side behind a bookshelf in our kitchen/family area--it's actually up to code. I asked. I'll give you a hot minute to see something in these images.

Yeah, that. I looks like a hairy pink person mooning me. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ As my former students would say, "Sorry not sorry." I sent the pic to our contractor and his wife thought the same thing I did. I'm not alone on this one. It's kind of like me seeing things such as---male genitalia---in the clouds. I can usually find someone who begrudgingly agrees with me. I really do these things to mess with my family. It entertains me. They're so delicate when it comes to that kind of stuff. I used to be that person. I slowly gave that up for (you fill in the blank here) 😬 Mostly, I like embarrassing our teens and Chief. Chief could live without the embarrassment, but enjoys embarrassing the boys.

One last shenanigan before I leave you. Monkey sleeps like the dead. It's really become an issue over the years. Two things about this: 1) I was hoping the emergency vehicles would wake him up so I wouldn't have to (how bad is that?) and 2) This past week has been epic for emergency vehicles, which is worrisome. They're using sirens and sounds that aren't the usual ones and they go on for a long time right around our house. It's been every day, sometimes twice a day, this week. One night it was street racing, apparently. πŸ™„ I don't know how Monkey sleeps through it all. Finnegan howls and sometimes sounds like the Smoke Monster from Lost (that dog has a set of lungs on him) and there's usually duel-barking proceeding it all--you know, protecting the property, home invasion alerts, and all that (a leaf fell in the yard...). Those two dogs sound like entire pack of hounds. Monkey sleeps through it all.

The other night, he slept through dinner. We couldn't wake him up. So Chief turned on the Sonos in his room (he has it piped everywhere and rules the world from his iPhone--before all the cool kids started to, story for another time). That wasn't getting Monkey up, so he turned up the volume. First it was The Bay City Rollers. No luck. Then it was Abba, cranked. By this point, he woke up enough to keep turning it off. Chief kept messing with him, so he came out to yell and us, then went back to bed. πŸ˜‚ Chief and Chia thought it was hilarious. I thought it was funny, too, but it's also a sore subject for me. Every morning we go through this to get up for the day. Our attempts at driving him out for dinner Good Morning Vietnam style (Robin Williams with the music) backfired on us. He gets so hysterical in the moment, but thinks it's funny later--don't feel too sorry for him because he can dish it out just as good as we give it. Yup.

Most recently: "happy meat." Every meal they ask if we're eating "happy meat" because we've been buying pasture raised meat. You can put either teen in the other slots--I don't remember who said exactly what.

"Oh, the meat's good. What is it?" 

"Pasture raised meat. They're nice to the animals. You know mom can't handle it--cows," Chief theatrically states. I like cows and am struggling between these sweet animals and the food on my plate. There, I've said it.

"Oh, happy animals."

"It's happy meat."

I can't even. Every meal with meat, "Happy meat."

We're that family, a pack of heathen pranksters. I promise you we really are nice, though. Even if any of that sounded borderline mean. I constantly question my sharing here.

If there's one thing I've taught my pack is that you have to have a sense of humor. No humans, animals or plants are ever harmed. Severely annoyed in the moment, yes. Permanently damaged, no. (I suppose, in some ways, you could argue the "Happy Meat" was, but we're going to have to table that for another time. 😭) At any rate, we talk about our pranks after the fact so we understand that it's not from a mean place but one of love and fun.πŸ’œπŸ€— Look ⬆️ Even our house "mooned" us. πŸŒ—

All right, that was more than one shenanigan, I suppose 😁 I hope everyone is well and that you find something funny, curious, or thought-provoking to brighten your days.

Take care!



Blog posts: Feel free to read and share--we don't keep secrets around these parts...πŸ•
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