All is not as it seems--The Friday Tomfoolery Edition

Hello, Friday Fools! 

So there I was, minding my own business (ER folk, this will sound suspiciously familiar, right? ๐Ÿคจ) when my mom called all in a panic. She needed me to call and get a scheduled delivery (the "we'll call you the night before with a 'time frame'" kind of delivery) scheduled after 12 pm tomorrow vs. the crapshoot they usually give you...yeah, she still lives in the 70's and 80's when that was a thing, accommodating customers. I spent an hour and a half on the phone trying to place this polite request for her. I did manage to relieve the tension in my jaw by doing these exercises and I did some knee PT while I was hanging around. I was on hold with the company for at least 40 minutes before I was able to talk to someone and explain the situation, then there was a lot of back and forth. I did some chair dancing, which will remain on the down low--no one needs to witness that. I will say, the woman I spoke with was very nice about it and tried. I'll keep you posted. However, that's not the important part of this. The important is the little bits of torture we inflict on each other. I'm not talking about the odd requests my mom makes of me, either.

There canned hold music consisted of one holiday song they played over and over--not the full song, just part of it. It was kind of like using a song for a ringtone on your cell--you only get to hear a part of the song before it starts all over. Worse, it was a saxophone rendition of this song. ๐Ÿ˜ซ I have a big fat headache and a portion of saxophone holiday song ringing in my head. Torture. Kind of what we did to Monkey with Abba, ala Good Morning Vietnam. Two things about that: 1) divine retribution and 2) even if you didn't have your hand in the pie but didn't do anything to stop it, you're still part of the problem. If you need any reminders, see #1.

The saxophone song bumped Freeze Frame by the J. Geils Band out of my head. I'm easily influenced, apparently. Although I for sure wouldn't be one of those people who could be hypnotized and told to cluck like a chicken--I'm not easily hypnotized. I've tried it. I was on the phone with a doctor's office--we weren't getting each other's emails. We even sent multiple to each other while on the phone. No luck. Then her computer froze and she said something about Freeze Frame. I thanked her for putting that in my head ๐Ÿ™„. Funny thing is, as I wrote that the saxophone was replaced by Freeze Frame. Sigh. Tell me a story, I'll listen...


I'm going to interrupt my Tomfoolery to remind you that I also blog on my website...๐Ÿ•๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ• (You might've read it last week. If not, enjoy.)
Finding your roots

The other form of torture is barking dogs. We have neighbors who let their dogs carry on--usually these little yippy ones. I'm talking "bjorking" and "bjorking" and "bjorking." (The boys thought it was hilarious how other languages make animals sounds, hence, "Bjorking.") Makes me think of the neighbor on NextDoor complaining about being sick in bed coughing in time with the neighbor's dog barking. "Cough-bark. Cough-bark." I wonder if his neighbor is on NextDoor? 

I realize that dogs will bark. That's their job, but alert and cease. Check out what your dog is so wound up about and either eliminate the threat or have words with your dog. I'm on it, day and night--#hatebarkingdogs. Which means, when our dogs sing the song of their people at all hours of the night I shoot out of bed to either shush animals or surprise intruders. Sadly, yes. I'm one of those who believes their perceived powers are greater than their actual powers. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Unfortunately, we got rain on Wednesday and our sweet Flanders was hysterical, doing this "Poodle" bark that pierces my ears and floods me with anxiety. We have skylights that intensify the sound of every. single. drop. of. rain. I feel for his storm anxiety and fear of rain and I don't want the poor dog to suffer. However, I also don't want the neighbors to complain or be upset by our dogs (not that some have a leg to stand on, but still--who wants to be that neighbor?). Chief needs his beauty rest ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‚ and at least someone should sleep aside from Finnegan and the boys. Besides that, I'd like to get a full night's sleep, someday. Okay, that sounded whiney, but I'm tired from Flanders's shenanigans. Ironically, it was the first night in forever that I went to be before 10pm (๐Ÿ˜ฑ, right?) and actually got cozy and started to drift off in under an hour. Unheard of. I'm usually sick when that happens. Then, bjorking. Flanders is not a dog who likes to be comforted, either. He'd rather try to climb onto counters and bookshelves as well as pace around the house like the town crier. 

People! Rain, rain! Alert, people! RAIN.

So, imagine me chasing around after a bjorking dog (he lifts his head and borks at the ceiling), shushing him, trying to pet and calm him, and giving him his "Ganja" dog (CBD dog treats. Yup, even the treats a get nickname.). We live far enough away from neighbors and he's inside that I hope it isn't a problem (the yippers are usually outside raising a fracas, so there's that).

The horror. I really am being serious. The horror. (Now I'm being dramatic) I know it's nothing close, but it feels like torture--the going to bed, snuggling in, drifting off and then being startled out of sleep. The feeling is also similar to waking up as you're falling in a dream. It's on a constant loop. He lulls me into complacency by not barking for a while, a long while, then I go back to bed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. (Who still washes their hair like that anymore, anyway? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ Not I.)

The sad part is I love the rain...

I've nattered on for a long enough. The Tomfoolery was meant to arrive in the morning email, but look what's happened?Angela Lansbury-esque chair exercises, bad hold music, and jaw therapy. All morning long. A day can be frittered away so easily. Thanks for letting me get my Friday Tomfoolery off my chest today. Too much time on the phone and with silly things. At least I got PT out of the way for the day ๐Ÿ˜ Well, I've got a hot date with Mando and Grogo tonight, so I hope you all have a great week and find something funny, curious, or thought-provoking to brighten your days. ๐Ÿค 

Take care!


Modify your subscription    |    View online