• hello-bodied parrot toy sitting outside on a dark green bench in the sun. gravel below the bench with a large succulent planter behind it and pave driveway in the background.

    So a woman walks in with a parrot in her bag…

    Two things: First of all, I’ve been excited to prank L since I left the doctor’s office two weeks ago. You can read about that here. Second, I realized that I had an earlier appointment than I did last appointment and that L comes in later…I couldn’t roll in dirty with a parrot on my shoulder, wearing an eye patch to prank her because she wouldn’t be there! To be honest, I nixed the eye patch because if someone else did happen to come at the same time (Central Phoenix Eye Care has been awesome about social distancing and spreading out appointments and adjustments) I didn’t really want to scare…

  • It’s worth the price of a parrot

    In my last post, I mentioned being in the hospital for surgery. That was in December. I feel good but I’m still recovering from it. I had a tumor removed (it was hiding under a facial nerve in the large saliva gland). Long story short, half my face isn’t functioning at full capacity. At first, it looked like I had a stroke. Then it looked like someone had used a mismatched Mr. Potato Head set to assemble my face. My ears were two different sizes–his and hers. One eye didn’t blink for a while and looked larger than the other. The facial nerve that suffered most was the mandible and…

  • The Death Star

    I was at the hospital waiting in pre-op (yes, my second surgery of the 2020) watching through the small opening of my curtain, biding my time. The staff marched around with great purpose and what looked like efficiency. Who am I to judge whether or not they were efficient? 🤷🏻‍♀️ They looked like they had a purpose and were carrying out their tasks without delay. I always knew there were different colored scrubs, but for some reason it struck me as interesting sitting in the pre-op. The brown transport scrubs contrasted more with the different shades of green/blue. It felt very much like what I would imagine being inside the…

  • super large tree towering over a pond and a house

    Finding your roots

    What do you think of when you read that? Normally, I’d think of digging into your past and seeing the places that you came from. Maybe it’s a family tree, some sort of lineage (family, work, tradition), or even your ethnic background. Roots–things that ground a plant, tree, or even a person. She moved to ____, planting roots. Stability. A sense of timelessness and permanency (as much as life can be “permanent”–we’re all on borrowed time, right?). Well, I found roots this week. They were literal and were not at all grounding–at first. We’re having two bathrooms partially remodeled. One out of necessity. The irony is, the bathroom that we…

  • 2020: the year of falling down the stairs

    I took a fall down a flight of concrete stairs the last weekend of January. I didn’t think much of it in terms of a metaphor for 2020 until yesterday. It’s post election in the US. Things are by no means settled, emphasizing this feeling of free fall. Either outcome, the US has a lot of work to do collectively and individually. This made me think about how I tend to sweat the small stuff. There are some things that happen and you must figure out how to navigate that for yourself. I don’t know why I’m so obsessive about the small stuff, but I am. Can’t see the forest…

  • Funny Pre-Op Conversations

    So I love talking to people. I find them interesting. What some people love about me is that I’ll laugh at their corny jokes. I sometimes like corny jokes. I think what I like even more than corny jokes is the relentless nature in which some people go about them. It’s like a schtick. I’m easily entertained. I try to find the humor in a lot of things, otherwise we’d be doing a lot of crying, folks. For obvious reasons, a lot of questions that you’re asked pre-op are repetitive. They want to make sure they have everything correct. Chief was my ride home. I was asked a couple of…

  • 40 copies of The Reluctant Bandit on a kitchen island

    Print Version Available!

    Hello! Just a quick note to say that the print version of The Reluctant Bandit arrived on Monday. Yes, I’m late to posting. I was too wrapped up in trying to figure out some aesthetics. Things I had plenty of time to do while I was drumming my fingers waiting for the print copies to arrive. Live and learn, people. Live and learn. I wanted a nice way to thank you for your purchases as well as include an ask. I’d love for you take pics of yourselves wearing the purple bandanas included with your book either sending the pics to me so I can share on my social media…

  • I applied for one position, but was offered another…

    I had quit my job and decided to go to graduate school. It was hard because Chief was away for a rotation in Alaska and I was by myself. Ironically, that rotation fell over our first wedding anniversary. Between classes one day, I saw a sign for a hiring event by UPS. They were looking for loader/unloaders. I met the minimum requirements–something like must be able to lift 50 (60?) lbs by yourself and 120 lbs with a partner. Hell yes I could do that. I’m actually very strong. And Stubborn. And other things… I show up to the hiring date wearing a black pair of trousers and a white…

  • mail carrier from 1800s standing in front of mail carriage

    My web “tour” of the USPS

    There are certain sites that are really easy to navigate or you just get lucky and manage to find what you want fairly easily. I was on the USPS website looking for rates to ship my book out (I should receive my books on Monday, the 28th). I was all over the place and then I had a squirrel moment looking at stamps (totally getting the working dog stamps) and had to refocus. When I went to the calculate the price page…there’s a checkbox for shipping live animals 😖 I understand that animals need to be shipped, but it was still a little horrifying seeing it in print, so to…

  • Book Fidelity’s Review

    Review The following is a review from Book Fidelity! (You may have to scroll to August 18, 2020 to get to my review) She was one of the stops of the blog tour. ~*~ Hey there reader! I was excited to read The Reluctant Bandit because I am still new to cowboy tales and, as I was reading along, I got the inkling that I was going to get a little bit of romance – and I did! Now, do not get me wrong, I hesitate to call Bandit a romance book because it isn’t heavy in the subject and it would be dishonest to make you think this was a “bodice ripper”. It…

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