So a woman walks in with a parrot in her bag…

hello-bodied parrot toy sitting outside on a dark green bench in the sun. gravel below the bench with a large succulent planter behind it and pave driveway in the background.

Two things: First of all, I’ve been excited to prank L since I left the doctor’s office two weeks ago. You can read about that here. Second, I realized that I had an earlier appointment than I did last appointment and that L comes in later…I couldn’t roll in dirty with a parrot on my shoulder, wearing an eye patch to prank her because she wouldn’t be there! To be honest, I nixed the eye patch because if someone else did happen to come at the same time (Central Phoenix Eye Care has been awesome about social distancing and spreading out appointments and adjustments) I didn’t really want to scare them. Admit it, if someone arrived at the eye doctor’s office with an eye patch you might have some questions. Worse case, you’d feel awful for the person wearing it thinking that something bad or painful happened to them. I’m all about the gag not about the trauma.

Not knowing if the K would remember L’s and my last conversation, I explained to the ladies (two other employees were there) what was going on in my squirrel-powered brain. K remembered, laughing.

I told them, “Hey, she issued a challenge and you know I can’t let that one go.”

They told me L should be coming in around 11:00 am, in less than 30 minutes. I had luck today because as I was checking out, guess who comes walking up to the door! I practically cheered as I whipped the parrot out of my giant bag and set it on my shoulder. Yup. Stopped her in her tracks with laughter–although I did get the what-for about my missing eye patch. 😂🏴‍☠️

“Where’s the eye patch?” She asks, throwing up her hands. I told her that was a little over the top for even me. Although K did offer me one.

“But,” I said to her as I motioned down my front, “I’m wearing a striped top. Too bad it doesn’t say ‘Ahoy, there!'” For the record it’s a black and white striped sweatshirt (very “nautical”) that has neon orange lettering spelling out, HELLO THERE. Hello, ahoy. I tried. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I even brought a scarf with black and multi-colored sugar skulls on it that I pulled out of my giant bag to show her. I really tried. But then I suppose I chickened out, just a little, not donning the flouncy white blouse and tall black boots. I thought my alternative ‘fit was hinting at the joke without being too obvious. Since I’ve had some time to reflect, I’m now on team, You should’ve swung for the fences. I was just being lazy because I wasn’t sure if she’d take to the joke or not. She did. Told me I made her day, lol, and that was with me not being completely extra.

So, back to the original post: Yes, it was worth the price of a parrot. I took a selfie with it when I came home. You aren’t seeing it. Probably never will. You can see the parrot sitting on my favorite bench.

On another note, my face is better. I think it was therapeutic to write about all the things I’d been running around saying at home and on Zoom. I didn’t tell friends or family about this surgery or the outcome unless I had to actually see them or there was a good opening to bring it up. Don’t worry, I’ve had a lot of flack about that choice since then.

Meanwhile, I’ll just bask in the glory of my latest prank.

Totally worth the price of a parrot.

Give me a shoutout! 🤠

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