The Cockroach Meets My Boot: one student’s horror story

Here’s something I wrote years ago on my other blog, Through a Bird’s eye. Enjoy!

(Not the boots I wore that day–those were tall boots, my standard wear.)

One morning during class, I was circulating, checking in on the groups & their progress, when I spied a very large cockroach crawling across the back wall. I gasped & said, cockroach, but aside from those in the back row moving their chairs away from the back wall, no one did anything.

Everyone just stared at the stupid thing.  

I looked around briefly to see if anyone would do something. Then, looked for something to hit it with. Ultimately, neither was a solid option.  

Sure, it was a class full of the stereotypical art students. But there were also some older vets and other worldly people (and let’s be honest, not everyone is “stereotypical”)–a grand mixture of folk. Alas, aside from the cockroach, no more movement.

So, I marched over to the wall & did a sidekick with the sole of my boot and landed a direct hit. Mind you, I’m wearing a long skirt. Plus, I’m rushing down the middle, from the front of the class to the back. The roach had advanced pretty high up the wall so I had to do a sidekick to get at it “gracefully.” But when it fell it was still moving. I didn’t kick hard enough, not wanting to damage the wall.

Now, I had to chase after it.

It was a vigorous stomp-chase, stomp-chase scenario. Quite violent, I might add. I think I surprised the class with my Kung Fu moves/flailing limbs as well as my swift violence.

I mean, their instructor was chasing a roach around the classroom. 🤷🏻‍♀️

They were rendered silent. But after a slight pause they thought it was funny. The talking and laughter started up. All except poor Iain, who seemed to have a thing for bugs.  

I told him where there’s one cockroach there’s plenty more, so we wouldn’t miss this one.

For the record, even after briefly thinking about it, there was no way I was going to find something to smack it with, only to have it survive and crawl up my arm! I often think about an old friend who had a roach run up her leg under her scrubs 😳

No way.  

The bottom of my shoe was the only way to go and the only way to get the bottom of my shoe to connect with the bug was to do a just above the waist sidekick. I think I surprised myself by kicking it off the wall but it was huge & I didn’t want to think about it lurking around the classroom.  

Sorry bug lovers. Kind of sort of sorry bugs. So sorry students for the sideshow. It was a reaction.

With that said, I’d do again. Skirt, dress or pants–decorum be damned.